Three hour nap times

So, here I am at Alpina Cafe...have the afternoon OFF! I did a babysitting exchange with a friend...Went to Fallen Leaf Lake for a bit, catching up on email for a bit, hoping to get in a chapter or two of Reason for God (highly recommend it, by the way), and then headed to a 2 hour pedicure. LOVE these days. When I was at Fallen Leaf, I came to realize that 'these days' just don't happen now that I have a baby. Sure, I 'get away' quite a bit (there ARE pros to your husband working from home...Judah takes a three hour nap everyday and I get to run errands, grocery shop, all while he's sleeping!), but I don't get to just have unplanned, unstructured, relaxed time. I was wondering why that is and it's b/c as a mother you are always 'on call' so to speak. Even though, as Judah sleeps the afternoon away and I'm sitting reading a book on our deck or catching up on email, there's still this underlying feeling that he could wake up any moment and I'm 'on.' I was asking God if this is just simply what it means to be a mother (and I'll feel this 'on call' feeling for the rest of my life) but he said no (more or less). He said, faintly I might add (we're working through that), that I haven't been leaning on Him for my strength and that's why I'm not 'settled' (or 'relaxed') on the inside. I haven't 'pressed in' to Him and the result: a somewhat frazzled life covetously looking for that "relaxation." So, even though that motherly 'on call' feeling will likely not go away (ever), there is still freedom and peace to be had that I haven't allowed God to give me. Putting all this together, though, what's the conclusion? I don't really know, but if I know God as well as I think I do after 15 or so years of being His daughter (give or take ten years :)...it's a process, isn't it?), I think it's simple: just BE with God (durning Judah's three hours naps that is...some moms get up before their children but that is NOT me)...maybe that means reading my Bible, maybe that means praying or meditating...I think it'll look different everyday. But, I'd like to committ to 'being' with God (and not running around cleaning the kitchen or doing email during those bless-ed three hour nap times...)